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Zombie Master
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Trouble in Terrorist Town
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Do it like a beat cop arresting some punk with a stolen bike.
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Topic: Do it like a beat cop arresting some punk with a stolen bike. (Read 8264 times)
Qloos
Poster
Posts: 203
«
on:
December 22, 2009, 08:32:51 PM »
There's some dirty scum from the hood in front of you, he's so gangsta you're almost sure of his guilt one way or anotha.
So this is what you do. You fucking yell "Don't move!" Radio this fuckers name in, "I'm with some wannabe wigger on 5th and Oak." Then check the surroundings to make sure his punkass friend ain't going to spring him like the zipper spot of a denim at a strip club. Now like a pro cop you try and make them prove their own guilt.
-If someone was killed by a specific gun, and you know it, you do this:
"Bitch, what's your gun?" To which he'll either realize you're on to him and start shooting, pull it out and claim it wasn't him still, claim he doesn't have a gun at all, or he has a different gun.
If he has a different gun he is a pro gangsta yo and you have no case. You gotta let him go.
He says he don't have a gun? Let him prove it and be a generous cop and let him hold yours. Then if he fails to pick it up and starts shooting you, you pull out your leg holster like six slinger magee and stick a melon sized hole in his head.
If he has the same style of weaponry as the scum bag murderer who killed your mother, you demand he drop it, back up, and turn around. Cause if he don't, he's scum waiting for you to drop down like an inmate picking up an ace in a shower g. If that 50cent claim he wasn't shootin no one when you realize he's missing some bullets, cap his ass anyway for being some dumb ignorant vandal. No one gets away with that crap in my town.
-If you meet some guy in the hood, and he's sportin a hurt. You ask your fellow man: "Yo wassap? Why you hurt and a limpin G?" And he'll all be like "Aww officer, I totaly like fell and hurt myself while I was trying to sneak into my womans window on the 8th floor." This always sounds like bullshit, but alot of gangstas these days think they're fucking superman and jump from roofs.
Tell him to holster, being a polite cop you'll do the same. Then you walk a 360 from a respectful distance in case that bitch tries to shank your pig ass. If you see any - red spots - on his body it means this lieing sack of shit was shot and he's trying to hide his murder from his totally dope gangster shoot out in the dark side of LA. So when you do a pass for another inspection of his ass you put a 2 ounce piece of lead into the back of his head mate.
If there ain't no bullet holes, he's probably telling the truth. That shit wont stand in court if there aint no evidence. But there's another trick.
Tell that scum to show you where he fell from his whores window. There better be blood on the ground or shit's going down.
The last trick I gotta tell you beat cops is this, always make sure someone will get revenge if the heat takes you down. Make sure he aint facing you. Press Y, type out his name. Ctrl X that shit. The moment he starts shooting you, Y - Ctrl + V wigga what?! Then you just let it sit and watch as he digs his own grave.
«
Last Edit: December 22, 2009, 09:29:59 PM by Qloos
»
AndyTheGeeky
Build Tester
Posts: 3026
Wannabe Zoidberg
«
Reply #1 on:
December 22, 2009, 08:35:54 PM »
Quote from: Qloos on December 22, 2009, 08:32:51 PM
There's some dirty scum from the hood in front of you, he's so gangsta you're almost sure of his guilt one way or anotha.
So this is what you do. You fucking yell "Don't move!" Radio this fuckers name in, "I'm with some wannabe wigger on 5th and Oak." Then check the surroundings to make sure his punkass friend ain't going to spring him like the zipper spot of a denim at a strip club. Now like a pro cop you try and make them prove their own guilt.
Wigga stole my bike!
Real interesting - if hard to follow - story, with a helpful moral.
Signature Pending...
Ajunk
Build Tester
Posts: 14000
ಠ_ಠ
«
Reply #2 on:
December 22, 2009, 08:39:25 PM »
God that was funny.
Quote from: loli_melony on September 22, 2009, 01:31:31 AM
You're all the most fucking heartless people
Flaming Monkey
Poster
Posts: 2015
«
Reply #3 on:
December 22, 2009, 10:14:37 PM »
Awesome and helpful.
Quote from: Marauder8[UK on
link=topic=4658.msg385943#msg385943 date=1277847751]
And I Marauder. Me scared big bright in sky, it make hot.
FF|NedStar
Poster
Posts: 1045
Look into my eyes.
«
Reply #4 on:
December 22, 2009, 10:33:59 PM »
Cool story bro.
Quote from: Autist on
You're so buttmad faggot an admin who rdms and ghosts and lets his friends aimbot what a classy faggot, thank god half your server consists of asslickers otherwise nobody would play on your shitty server.
worbat
Santaman
Posts: 13027
Fnar Fnar Fnar
«
Reply #5 on:
December 22, 2009, 10:48:02 PM »
Two in the chest one in the head. Just to make sure.
Shadow: Ben's secret name is ben
my god
zoobird
Poster
Posts: 108
«
Reply #6 on:
December 22, 2009, 11:11:19 PM »
A day in the life of a gangster in terrorist town. Hood life y'all.
«
Last Edit: December 22, 2009, 11:50:39 PM by zoobird
»
Broadsword
Build Tester
Posts: 5238
Upgrade to Sheep-on-Meth Today!
«
Reply #7 on:
December 23, 2009, 04:55:47 AM »
Amazing read. On top of this I got one trick from it, checking the spot they fell from, I never thought of that before.
LINE PIEEEEEECE!
Qloos
Poster
Posts: 203
«
Reply #8 on:
December 23, 2009, 05:10:11 AM »
Actually, I dont know if it leaves a blood spatter when you take fall damage.
DemiGod
Build Tester
Posts: 1289
Nimble as a pregnant cow
«
Reply #9 on:
December 23, 2009, 05:11:02 AM »
We must test this to see if it actually works, if it does then I think we may have found one of the most effective was to find a traitor
Quote from: Weighted Companion Cube on April 13, 2010, 12:25:53 AM
I hate all of you
Quote from: Pastor on July 09, 2010, 01:26:57 AM
Nah, more like demigod isn't self centered and he is legality cool guy.
eeny
Build Tester
Posts: 10242
+1
«
Reply #10 on:
December 23, 2009, 06:49:29 AM »
well since you "bleed" after taking damage of any kind, including fire and prop da,mage I would assume it would work...
Nobody Expects the Malkavian Inquisition!
Tyrant T100
Poster
Posts: 1725
The State sees all!
«
Reply #11 on:
December 23, 2009, 05:35:01 PM »
Quote from: eeny on December 23, 2009, 06:49:29 AM
well since you "bleed" after taking damage of any kind, including fire and prop da,mage I would assume it would work...
It does, but obviously depending on your decal limit means if you can see it or not.
http://www.youtube.com/user/TyrantGrandburnin
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Do it like a beat cop arresting some punk with a stolen bike.
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